This blog is dedicated to all the fat chicks out there that get counted out, because of their weight. I want to share my advice, experiences, ups, downs, awesome websites, special deals, and anything else that pops into my mind. Most importantly I hope I can make you laugh. Everybody needs to laugh :0D

Sep 30, 2009

Kitty Wigs!

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7 comments

I know you are probably thinking the same thing that I did when I first heard the term...Kitty Wigs.
Some crazy old lady is sitting at home and dressing her cat up like an antique porcelain doll, until the cat runs like hell and jumps in front of the first passing car.




I have to admit though that I am kind of digging the blue one.
I guess it makes the kitties feel special :)




                              
                               

 The Cat Walk?
I"m too sexy for my wig, too sexy for my wig
I wanna do a little jig.
I'm a model you know what I mean and
I shake my little tush on the cat walk.
On the Cat Walk Yeah!

Okay so that was fun, A-N-Y-W-A-Y
while perusing this idea I found 

Doggy Wigs 
Oh Yeah!
Check it Out!



This wig would look totally fab on my buddy Scorpion!

He thinks the bitches dig him now, wait til he throws one of these babies on.




He won't be able to fight them off !


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Sep 28, 2009

My Hero!

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6 comments

I have chosen Crystal Renn as my new hero!





She's HOT, SEXY, and Best Of ALL
PLUS-SIZE!

She is a model that fought against the stereotypes of rail thin models.
I'm definately getting her book!

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Sep 25, 2009

Cankles?

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5 comments

Okay, I may be fat, but thank the good lord above that I do not have cankles.



"Cankles" by definition is a combination of the words "calf" and "ankles." If you can't tell where your calf stops and your ankle starts, you may have cankles.

If you are one of the elite that have been plagued with cankles, then I am truly sorry. You were probably an evil person in your past life. Live better this time around and maybe next time you'll get lucky ;0)

There is still hope, there are a few things that you can do to rid your life of cankles:

1. Cut your feet off

2. Get a pet elephant - they have them too and you will good standing next to them (in most cases)

3. Wrap them in gauze and tell everyone you were in a freak accident

4. Wear spandex -- then everyone will be staring at you, but not because of your cankles

5. Get tattoos on them --everything looks better painted

6. Wear boots --even to the beach

7. Bring slouch socks back in style

8. Tell everyone that it's an allergic reaction

9. Walk on your hands

10. Buy anklets (well necklaces) --then when people stare you can ask them if they like your ummm...anklet.


See, so don't get all depressed about it. There are lots of things you can do. I guess there are worse things in life...you could have a goiter.



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Sep 22, 2009

Happy Birthday!

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10 comments

My oldest son turned 12 years old on Sunday. He decided that he wanted a chocolate cake with strawberry frosting. Now before I continue, you need to promise not to make fun of my beautiful cake...keep in mind that I am NOT a baker. Promise?
Okay...





Okay, so whatever! If you want to see a Martha Stewart cake then go to her website alright.
That's not the point of this story anyway. We were getting ready to sing Happy Birthday when...the phone rang. Okay, stop everything...it's Grandma. The cake can wait!
After an indeterminable amount of time, Back to the Cake!

Oh, But Wait! Something is different. What could it be?





Do you see that dark spot in the corner of the cake? Where there is frosting missing? See it?
Oh well, Who Did It?
Was it you?




No Momma, It wasn't me.
Then who could it be?
Was it you?




Not me. I don't eat cake.
Then Who?
Oh yes, I should have known...





HE HE HE. It was me all along.
As my 6 foot tall neanderthal of a husband went lumbering through the house after this sweet little devlish face, my oldest son yelled, "It's okay. He just wanted a little taste. I'll eat that piece." We all just laughed.

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Sep 21, 2009

I'm a Moron

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1 comments

This picture is hysterical!


I can't stop laughing!
Come on be a Moron with me.

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Sep 18, 2009

Check Out My Stuff

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3 comments

I have finally made it to Etsy! I only have one thing posted right now, but I am working on other projects so stay tuned!



Check me out at

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Sep 16, 2009

Which One is Which?

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2 comments

I have heard that sometimes pets look like their owners, but this chick really DOES look like her dog.

Sad part is...I think the dog is better looking :)

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Sep 15, 2009

RIP Johnny Castle

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5 comments

I was so sad when I heard that Patrick Swayze passed away. I will never forget the summer my sister and I watched Dirty Dancing every day, probably three times a day. We could recite that movie word for word. No matter what other roles I saw him in, he was always Johhny Castle to me.

RIP Johnny RIP

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Sep 13, 2009

Generosity

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0 comments

I don't know how many of you have visited my website http://www.memoirsofafatchick.com or how many of you know my story, but I'm very excited to say that I got my first donation from a lovely lady named Mindy at Bluegrass Money Management, LLC. Thank You Mindy :)

You know there was a time in my life when I had just about given up on the human race. The town that I lived in was full of bitter, mean people and they almost took me down with them. I had a hard time making friends, because people were not at all friendly. This is a place where nice guys do finish last. I was born and raised there so it was hard for me to say goodbye, but I felt like I had to. I had to get out for the sake of my kids. So we moved and I don't regret it for a minute. People are so very nice here. I've made friends and my kids love it. I've gotta tell you since I joined the blogging world, it has really opened my eyes up to how generous people can be. It has renewed my faith in mankind.

Whether you help me out with a few bucks, respond to my silly posts, chat with me on twitter, or just read my blog and website....Thank You. Thank you for making me feel like I matter. Thank you for being there in some of my darkest hours. Just Thank You!

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Sep 10, 2009

I Have A Confession!

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7 comments

When I tell you this story you have to promise not to judge me.

Promise?

Okay. So I have this fun little habit that I like to do and my husband tells me that it's creepy and someday I'll get arrested, but I don't think it's against the law. I have always been a people observer. I just find people interesting and I like to watch them. Well somewhere along the way I have developed this interesting thing that I do. Okay, Well...Alright! Well, you know at night when you are driving in your car and a house has it's lights on?...you know how if you look, you can see inside the house if their curtains are open? Well I like to look. Its fascinating to see what their house looks like on the inside. Is it Clean? Dirty? What kinds of decorations are hanging up? Do they have painted walls or wallpaper? (yes some people still use wallpaper).

It's just a curious habit that I have, especially during the holidays when they have all their decorations up. I'll be honest, it's not always a good thing. I have seen my fair share of asses and they are not always pretty, but for the most part ot's been a good experience. It's not like I go up to the window and stand there looking in. It's just a quick glimpse of someone elses life as we pass by. Thank you to all of those people who leave their curtains open.  
I'm not a freak. Am I?

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Sep 8, 2009

Want? Need? A Little of Both

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3 comments

I decided to go back to college and take a Literacy Add-On Program to enhance by Bachelor's degree. In order to qualify I needed to add a course so I decided to take a photography class. I have always loved taking pictures and I get so irritated with myself when I they do not come out. Well when I signed up they told me all I needed was a digital camera and I just so happen to hae one of those so I figured I was all set. Guess What? It's not the right kind. I need an SLR camera so after a little research I found the perfect one...



Isn't she beautiful? It's the Canon EOS Rebel XS18-55IS Kit...and it's all your for the low, low price of...wait for it....$549.88. Now if only I had that much money?

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Sep 3, 2009

All I Want for Christmas Is a Penis Chandelier!

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5 comments

Oh Please Santa! Pretty Please! I've Been So Good This Year!

I wonder how it hangs?

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Sep 1, 2009

Check Out This Article!

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1 comments

Big Boobs and Job Searching - Tory Johnson


Tory Johnson is the CEO of Women For Hire, the Workplace Contributor on ABC’s Good Morning America, and the author of Fired to Hired. Talk to her at Twitter.com/ToryJohnson or check out some of her advice http://abcnews.go.com/gma/jobclub or http://www.womenforhire.com/
I wish I could buy her book. That'll have to go on my wants list.

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