Conversation with my 5 year old:
5 Year Old: Momma, Will you watch a movie with me? [blink blink]
Me: Of course I will baby. What would you like to watch?
5 Year Old: Curious George
Me: Okay Pumpkin. Do you want to lay here with Momma and cuddle?
5 Year Old: Ummmm.....NO.
Me: You don't wanna lay here with me? [blink blink]
5 Year Old: Nnnno
Me: Oh. Okay [sniff]
Apparently batting your eyes does not work the other way around.
Conversation with my 12 year old:
11 Year Old: Mom I have to write an essay.
Me: Oh yeah. What about?
11 Year Old: I have to write about someone who has influenced me.
Me: Oh Really? [ears perk]
11 Year Old: What does that really mean?
Me: Well, Who has taught you right from wrong? Who has taught you to do the right thing? [smile]
11 Year Old: Oh, Okay. That's easy.
11 Year Old: Mom would you read this.
Me: Of course [sit up straight]
I got all excited getting ready to read how wonderful I am and much I have influenced my beautiful boy. It went something like this:
Many people have influenced me in my life. One person has influenced me a lot. They have taught me right from wrong. They taught me to be a good person and a good friend to people. They taught me to love my family. They taught me how to make good decisions and work hard. My dad has influenced me the most in my life.
STOP! What? [choke] Who? Huh? ...DAD?
What the HELL?
[Okay you are a grown up...just keep reading and breathing.]
I finished the essay and told my wonderful son how wonderful his essay was.
When the hell did this happen?
Why the hell did this happen?
WHEN did my boys stop thinking I was perfect?
WHEN did my little 5 year old stop needing to cuddle with me during a movie?
WHEN did my 11 year old switch sides? I mean..ehum...
WHEN did my 11 year old stop thinking that I was the most awesome person in the world?
WHEN did my 11 year old start thinking his father was the most awesome person in the world?
WHEN did this happen?
WHY didn't anyone tell me?
WHAT am I going to do about it?
WHO does he think he is?
WHERE should I hide the body? [just kidding]
HOW am I going to change this?
HOW could I let this happen?
Something must be done. Something HAS to be done. But WHAT?
I could keep it a little colder in the house so the 5 year old will want to cuddle for warmth. Then...
I could tell my 11 year old that his father is really one of the bad guys from Transformers.
WHAT? Oh your right, he probably won't believe that.
I will tell him his father is mean to babies and old people. (No one likes people like that)
I can not believe how painful this is. Seriously, when did my boys stop needing me? Everybody told me, "Be happy you have boys. Boys are soooo much easier." WHATEVER! All boys do is break your heart! This is exactly why women are always in love with men that do not want them. As mothers, we are forced to love our boys unconditionally, even when they think they no longer need us. They can break our hearts, make us cry, and forget we exist...we still love them.
Sometimes I wished we were animals that ate our young...they seem to have it together.