This blog is dedicated to all the fat chicks out there that get counted out, because of their weight. I want to share my advice, experiences, ups, downs, awesome websites, special deals, and anything else that pops into my mind. Most importantly I hope I can make you laugh. Everybody needs to laugh :0D

Oct 26, 2009

I'm Constipated!

.

Well actually, that's not true. I really have a case of the hershey squirts right now.

A-N-Y-W-A-Y!

This past week has been filled with uttered mispoken words, compliments of my 5 year old.

On our way to his football game last weekend:

Me: Are you ready for the game?

Son: [crickets]

Me: Well are you ready? Are you going to hit hard?

Son: [blank stare]

Me: Okay...he's off in  Na Na Land.

Son: Mom, I'm constipated!

Me: HUH? Constipated! [giggle]

Son: Mom! I can't think.

Me: Oh you mean concentrating?




Taking notes Tuesday night for an online class:

Son: Mom I can write.

Me: [ignoring]


Son: Mom I know what those letters are.

Me: [ignoring]


Son: (pointing) That word is the, that word is can...


Me: [eye roll] Yes honey, I know you know those words.


Son: Mom can I write that for you?

 Me: No honey, you can't.


Son: I can write, mom.

Me: I know you can honey, but you have to write sentences.


Son: I know how to do that. I know a period, exclamation point, question mark, quotation marks, and
Q-U-O-M-A-S.


Me: [giggle] Well that settles it then.




                                                    


Watching wrestling Thursday night...(don't judge me)

My son does this thing when he gets excited. (NO not that! Get your minds out of the gutter...he's only 5)
He clasps his hands together and tightens up all his muscles. Like he is so happy that he's afraid to let it all out. Well he did this Thursday night, so...


Me: Why do you do that?

Son: Because I'm allergic.

Me: Allergic?

Son: Yeah

Me: [giggle] Oh...okay.







My oldest son loves Ramen noodles. So Saturday after he ate the noodles, he gave the cat his "noodle juice" as he calls it. (Yes I know...I laughed too)


Me: Don't give the cat your noodle juice. It'll make him sick.

Oldest Son: No it won't mom


Youngest Son: You gave the cat your noodle juice? You are a serial killer.


Oldest Son: Huh?

Me: Huh?

Youngest Son: I want some Rabbit noodles too!

Me: ummm...Okay.





My youngest son likes to go to the bathroom with the door open. Last night he was in the bathroom and my husband was making dinner.


Me: Hon, whatcha making?

Son: I'm making a turd mom.

Me: Sounds Good!


This is what my everyday life is like. My 5 year old cracks me up, without even knowing it.
WELCOME TO MY WORLD! 



7 comments

Aunt Becky said...

Kids are so freaking funny without trying to be.

Unknown Mami said...

Your 5 year old cracks me up too.

bernthis said...

thank God for kids they really do a levity to your day

Vanessa said...

LOL!!!! This was hilarious.. kids really do say the funniest things. I have been looking for some time now.. and I dont see where I can sub to your blog!!!

BJ_Mama said...

HAHAHAHA!!! I love KIDS! I can't wait until my daughter says crazy things....think of all the blog material!!!

Thanks for the laugh!

Chickie said...

LMAO @ "making a turd". You know the kid thought you were crazy for even asking - I mean, what else would he be making in there?!

We have communication errors sometimes when the Sweety asks me a question and I think he's talking to the dog.

Organic Meatbag said...

Oh shit, I just ate noodle juice... am I going to die??? hehehehe...

 

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